Lifting the Veil of Shame: Working with Shame and Shame Sensitive Practice | 0930-1630 | Christiane Sanderson

Led by Christiane Sanderson

Lifting the Veil of Shame: Working with Shame and Shame Sensitive Practice

Who is this useful for?

Psychotherapist, psychologists, counsellors , mental health practitioners, medical professionals, clinical supervisors and anyone supporting clients who have experienced trauma, stigmatisation or marginalisation, relational  or narcissistic abuse, or who struggle with body dysphoria, and those working with Neurodiverse clients.

What is it about?

Shame is like an infection of the soul (Jung), which is although often hidden, implicit and unconscious,  exerts a significant impact on how we see ourselves, and others, and how we are in relationships, including the therapeutic one. The fear of exposure of shame, or risking being shamed by others can lead to a range of protective survival strategies including avoidance and withdrawal.  When clients withdraw, snap, or suddenly shut down, the driver is often shame—not resistance. Rooted in a history of physical or sexual abuse, early attachment ruptures, domestic abuse, sexual violence,  stigmatisation and marginalisation, shame shapes relational expectations and fuels fear of exposure, rejection, or emotional need.

Shame is universal and ubiquitous in the therapeutic space in both the client and the practitioner. To work with shame,  practitioners need to develop an awareness and understanding of shame and adopt a shame lens, to minimise the risk of missing or misreading the subtle dynamics that erode trust. Contemporary attachment research demonstrates that trauma, abuse and early relational disruptions—whether overt or nuanced—form the  bedrock of chronic and toxic shame. Such experiences obstruct the formation of secure internal working models, leaving clients prone to interpreting relational difficulties as evidence of intrinsic deficiency. Shame, seen through this lens, is not simply an affective state—it is a complex relational adaptation, designed to protect against the overwhelming pain of anticipated rejection.  As shame  is often implicit, it cannot be processed and thus becomes imprinted not only cognitively, but somatically—within the client’s autonomic nervous system. Over time, these embodied traces coalesce into an implicit relational template: “If I reveal my authentic self, I will be rejected”.

For practitioners, shame is among the most elusive and therapeutically challenging dynamics. Clients may present with depressive affect, perfectionism, or interpersonal and intrapersonal withdrawal and dissociation, yet beneath these presentations often lies a visceral terror of relational exposure. When shame-mediated responses are misread—or worse, inadvertently reinforced—therapy itself can become a site of retraumatisation.

Shame does not only reside in the client—it enters the therapeutic space through both participants. When clients’ shame stories touch unresolved shame within the therapist, there is a risk of subtle enactments: distancing, overcompensating, shutting down, or even avoiding difficult material. Developing awareness of therapist own relationship to shame—and how it interacts with the client’s—can be transformative.

This training  aims to reveal the hidden, yet insidious nature of shame embedded in trauma, abuse and attachment dynamics where bids for connection were met with rejection, mis-attunement, or emotional neglect. Emphasis is  placed on equipping  practitioners to recognise, track, and respond to shame-based dynamics as they arise. Participants will be invited to adopt a shame lens—an essential stance for identifying shame dynamics as they emerge in subtle and relationally embedded ways—and begin cultivating shame-sensitive practice. It also centres practitioners own somatic experience of shame, creating space to reflect on how shame is embodied, enacted, and processed within us. This training will also offer a range of experiential exercises that can be integrates into the practitioners clinical toolkit.

 Learning Objectives

• The nature and dynamics of shame and its impact
• Spot how it manifests in the therapeutic space and the somatic markers of shame—gaze aversion, breath holding, postural collapse
• Identify shame defences such as withdrawal, attack self, avoidance and attack others
• Reframe shame presentations as a protective  strategy rather than pathologising it
• Practise 'naming without shaming'—helping clients put words to shame without collapsing and restore relational safety
• Exercises to identify shame and how to de-shame
• Distinguish between the therapist’s own shame and the client’s shame and recognise the interplay between client and therapist shame
• Tune into somatic countertransference when shame enters the room
• How to develop and integrate shame sensitive practice into the therapeutic relationship that support shame regulation and self-compassion
• Foster self-Compassion as an antidote to shame and guide clients in shifting from self-blame to self-acceptance and authentic pride

About Christiane

Christiane Sanderson is a former senior lecturer in Psychology and Counselling at the University of Roehampton, of London with over 38 years of experience working in the field of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), sexual violence and complex trauma. She has delivered guidance and training for parents, teachers, social workers, nurses, therapists, counsellors, the police and faith communities. 

Her research interests span trauma informed therapeutic practice, shame and shame sensitive practice, PTSD, Complex Trauma, Attachment and Relational Trauma, sexual violence, domestic abuse and narcissism. 

She is the author of  We Are Still Here: What Counsellors and Therapists Can learn from the Lived Experiences of Child Sexual Abuse Survivors;  Working with Survivors of Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide to Therapeutic Support and Protection for Children and Adults;  Counselling Skills for Working with Shame;  Counselling Skills for Working with Trauma: Healing from Child Sexual Abuse, Sexual Violence and Domestic Abuse;   Counselling Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, 3rd edition;  Counselling Survivors of Domestic Abuse;   The Seduction of Children: Empowering Parents and Teachers to Protect Children from Child Sexual Abuse, and Introduction to Counselling Survivors of Interpersonal Trauma, all published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. She has also written The Warrior Within: A One in Four Handbook to Aid Recovery from Sexual Violence 4^th Edition; The Spirit Within: A One in Four Handbook to Aid Recovery from Religious Sexual Abuse Across All Faiths; Responding to Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse: A pocket guide for professionals, partners, families and friends,  and Numbing the Pain: A pocket guide for professionals supporting survivors of childhood sexual abuse and addiction  for the charity One in Four for whom she is a trustee.